


Words Unsaid

by EbethBeatlebub



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: 1960s, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Two People One Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:02:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25997962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbethBeatlebub/pseuds/EbethBeatlebub
Summary: Made to share a bed, Paul ponders what would happen if John were to suddenly leave him like his mother had. What words would be his last to him? Would they be the ones he would want to say?
Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Words Unsaid

"Aw, shite," Paul muttered, folding his arms as he eyed the bed before him. The others were all behind him setting down and unpacking their bags. John turned to see what was the matter. 

"There's only one bed," he gestured, sounding tired and disappointed. 

George and Ringo peered over to see that indeed this side of the split hotel room had only one bed, and so it stood to reason that their side also had only one. 

"Well," George shrugged, "can't be worse than Hamburg," 

All the boys hummed, grunted, and nodded in agreement. No, nothing could possibly be worse than  _ Hamburg.  _

John made eye contact with Paul. Paul nodded back with a blank expression. Truthfully, they were both not sure how to handle it;  _ sharing a bed _ . They'd done so on many occasions now, but there was always something...  _ different  _ about it. They both nevertheless assumed they were on the same page regarding it. It was a dangerous (and rather stupid) game they played, communicating with merely body language and vibes alone, and yet it was just what they did for some things. 

"Well, we're off to get some shut eye, fellas," Ringo announced as he made his way to the door separating the two rooms. George followed, and with a silent and disgruntled chorus of  _ 'goodnights'  _ the door was closed and John and Paul were left with their thoughts. John went to go and get changed into pyjamas, silently slipping into their bathroom. Paul sat down on one side of the bed. While he waited, he got dressed himself, and as he was emptying his pockets his wallet fell to the ground, some of the contents falling about. 

" _ Bugger, _ " he grit his teeth and got down to pick whatever fell out up again. As he was doing so, he came across a little photo. 

He had a few little photos tucked away into his wallet. These days on the road, though he absolutely  _ adored _ it all, meant he saw less and less of his family. Well... it wasn't like he'd be seeing much of Mary even if he  _ wasn't  _ touring. Could be just bloody lazing about at home, unemployed and pathetic and he'd still never see her. 

Oh god here it all went again, those silly thoughts shaking him up. He slipped the photo back into its place in his wallet and then put it up on the bedside table. He slid into the bed by the time John was out, and then John made his way to the other side of the bed. 

"Bathroom any decent?" Paul asked, after they'd sat in silence for a minute or two. John snorted, "It's a  _ hotel  _ bathroom. Hardly  _ anything _ decent goes on in it," he joked. He knew what Paul meant, but also knew Paul didn't actually care. It was just another part of this awkward game they'd begun to play. Paul answered back with a smirk. He'd been caught trying to make idle chit chat, and he knew it. He snuggled down and turned towards John. He really quite  _ liked  _ having to share a bed with John, but much like many things regarding John lately, Paul wasn't sure if he was reading things right. It  _ seemed  _ like John liked it too. Had he simply asked, he'd learn that he absolutely did. 

John followed suit and settled with his head facing right back at Paul. They shared a look for a long while, thoughts and feelings coursing between them but not  _ quite  _ reaching one another. Paul thought back to his mum. What things had he not told  _ her?  _ There were so many things he wished he'd said and done before she slipped out of his reach forever. The photo in his wallet had him thinking. 

What if John left him tomorrow? What if there was an accident? Or perhaps worst of all, what if John decided Paul wasn't good enough for him any more and he left of his own accord? It wasn't until he felt an arm around him that he realised he'd been very silently crying. Tears leaked hotly through the corners of his eyes as he stared into space, no longer focused on John, that is, until John had moved forward to wrap him up against him. 

"Alright there, love?" he asked. Paul's heart leapt and he panicked a bit, but try as he might he could not escape John's embrace. 

_ "What did you wish you had said?"  _ his mind screamed amongst all the chaos going on in his head. He sucked in a deep breath and looked at John again. Christ, he could lose this man. He could just suddenly not have John anymore, and what would the last thing he said to him be? Some crude joke? Something utterly meaningless? Something he wished he could take  _ back _ ... 

"I love you," he said on instinct. The thought of what he wished he'd said to his mother had combined with the fear of history repeating itself, which had lead him to such a blunt conclusion. John merely stared back, blank expression, grip frozen in place. Paul's eyes widened and his heart went even  _ harder  _ now, fears and doubts and shame all building up. Something he hadn't considered at all was  _ how  _ John would take his last words to him. Before this point, the mere  _ idea  _ of his last words to John was merely hypothetical and borne of paranoia.  _ Now  _ however, as he awaited a response, it felt like it's possible he really  _ had  _ said his last words. Now he wished he hadn't said them after all. 

Then, like the sun breaking out between clouds, John smiled, an amused but confused look on his face. He slid a hand up to stroke Paul's hair out of his face. 

"Really?" he asked, "Or is that your way of trying to scare me off, because it's not working," 

Paul felt warm,  _ too  _ warm, as his mind and body worked overtime to process this. John's big, strong, masculine heat against him didn't help in the slightest. As it drew closer, John pulling him in tighter to himself, Paul knew he never wanted to be colder than this ever again. 

"Uh... Yeah" he muttered back shyly. 

John snorted, "Yeah to  _ which _ , ye bleeding sod?" 

Paul cracked a smile, chuckling a little, "the... the  _ first,"  _ he admitted, closing his eyes. As he laid there, closed eyed and overheating, John simply couldn't believe what was happening. He couldn't believe it was  _ real.  _ He couldn't believe what he was  _ about to do _ . John leaned in, his nose brushing against Paul's. Paul's eyes flew open and he stared  _ so  _ intensely back at him. They paused, noses together. 

Then, smiling, Paul leaned in too and placed the first kiss on his lips. John hummed deeply and pressed right back. Spurred on by the reciprocation, Paul wrapped his arms around John, returning the embrace and longing for as much physical contact as possible. John responded with a deeper, hungrier kiss. In between kisses Paul softly would declare his love again and again, John joining in after a while. Eventually John rolled onto his back, bringing Paul with him to lay on top. John grinned up at him and peppered his face with kisses 

"I thought you'd never say that," John admitted, a little emotional himself. 

Paul smiled, "Me neither... but I uh... I mean it,"

John looked him in the eye, same as he  _ always  _ had before, but this time Paul knew what John was really truly thinking. He knew John loved him too. He knew that this was not a man to whom he'd said his last words to. 

"I love you too," he answered, properly this time. 

Paul knew in that moment that from then on, he'd make an effort to never let precious words go unsaid again. 


End file.
